Bloody October

Not a good title, is it? It is a name my family has adopted for October, since it seems to be a difficult time for us each year. When did it begin? Although there might have been isolated incidents prior, most likely 1983, the year my sister and mom both died. My oldest sister died of cancer that October, and my mom, filled with grief and despair, followed her a few weeks later.

Since then, each October has it's own drama, from work challenges, a break-in at our home, a devasting snowstorm that broke several trees, to other deaths. My dear brother-in-law died one October day. Two years ago, one niece's husband was killed in an auto accident in late September and was put to rest in October.

This year, already, my family has felt the angst of Bloody October. Another niece was over four months pregnant and found out on Oct 1 that the baby had died. She had to endure a forced labor and many hours (and days to come) of loss and sorrow. Yesterday I learned there is a memorial next week for a dear friend's husband, who was killed in an auto accident the end of September.

Is all of October filled with grief? No, we don't let it. There are several birthdays we celebrate, and sharing time with the living is a blessing all on its own. Since John Denver's death in October 1997, I have made an annual trip to Aspen for memorial/celebration/retreat. The people I have met from that experience are among my dearest friends. Other social and environmental activities have branched off from that so that my year is filled with joy and well-being.

Still - it does cause one to put their head down and hope we make it through the month intact. The light at the end of the tunnel? Thanksgiving! With the end of October, we can officially welcome in the holiday season and the crisp, beautiful snows of winter.